Luv But Hate

Stop saying that you care
You don’t understand at all
You used to be there
to catch me when I fall
Now you walk away
creating even more space
in between the distance
and the time zones away
You don’t understand me
Stop saying you do
I know it hurts right now
But I have no time to explain
How I really feel
or how great the pain
I just sit at my desk
every single day
Waiting for the feelings for you
to slowly fade away
Suddenly I realized
that i cannot even hide
my saddness or tears inside
I realized that I miss you
and I cried and cried
But there is nothing else I can do
because I’ll never be with you again
I am not even sure
if I want to be friends
I know you miss me too
But you don’t understand me
you don’t understand at all
because you threaten to leave me
everytime I fall
We promised to be there for each other
but life is so not fair
I comforted you when you needed me
but there are no such words
as “vice versa”, in your dictionary
Yet you continue to say
that you will help me
But really,
You are never there for me.
Even now we are no longer together
I still want you to remember
how much I cared about you
for the last four years
and I want you to think about
is how much you cared about me
for the last four years
Then you will understand
why we have to separate
I am not sure
but maybe it is fate
Anyways, I hope you are ok
I really don’t have anymore to say
I am just going to go and pray
And hope that you have a good day
I miss you
Really
But you will be better off
without me
I hope you meet some college girls
the preppy ones that make me hurl
I remember every word you said that day
about telling me to date other guys
to hurt me and push me away
To say sorry now,
might just be a little too late
I am sorry I never answer the phone
You really don’t want to hear my voice
that sounds colder than stone
I just want you to remember
what we used to be
not this depressing finale
So stop saying that you care
You don’t understand at all
All I wanted
was for someone to catch me
everytime I fall.
Lastly, I want to say
I love you
but it doesn’t matter
I never meant anything to you

You just im-ed me and i didn’t know….
Shit, I can’t stop crying. I don’t know what to do. Why am I crying?
Oh yeah, I am crying cuz you left.

Again.
As always.

Perhaps…

I will tell you how I feel

But right now,

I need to be a nerd.

T____T

or at least,

till 12/13

I am still a princess.

It’s just that you are NOT the prince!

So what? The fairytale did not end with a happy ending.

But don’t you forget, I am still the princess…

and I refuse to talk to you

because you are a peasant now,

you are not a prince anymore.

———-

The 11th day

I am so sorry.

really.

but I don’t think it will help even if you get a ticket and fly back right now. 

It’s just a waste of time, a waste of money…

a waste of everything we have been through

Plus, don’t ruin your education because of me.

Besides, You won’t be able to change anything anymore.

Today at lunch, she asked me what she should get her boyfriend for their 2 months anniversary….

“Oh, it’s only two months…” I said.

It hurts, but I smiled.

“Write him a letter” I said.

Write him a letter, make him a surprise, send it to his school…

At least your boyfriend is only going to BCC or whatever…

He is not even going out of state, or all the way to the East Coast….so I don’t get why you can’t even think of what to get your boyfriend….

—————-

 I don’t think I will ever write another letter again.

—————–