sage for racism.
fucking sage.

I really shouldn’t even be posting but
fuck I’ve just gotta say it
SAGE. FOR. RACISM.

Somewhere Mr. Brown is hanging his head low.

There’s a balance, between my writer self and my real life self.
It’s indirectly proportional; when one burgeons, the other shrivels.
I think I’ll let my real life self thrive for awhile.

four score years.. four score years..

You think you were my first love. You think you were my first love, but you’re wrong. You were the only one, the only one who’s come and gone.
I’m plagued with these insecurities. They crawl from under me, roused to taunt and humiliate me. Always, filling me with an overwhelming itch to kick something or shout at the top of my lungs. Nervous tics spring from these personal demons; I’m racing down the path to mental instability.
I’ll be lonely for the rest of my life.
I’ll end up a useless hikikomori and accomplish nothing.
I’ll end up wrecking my family sooner or later much like my father did.
I’ll eventually be hated by my kids for being such a bad father.
I’ll end up homeless on the streets because I’m mentally destitute.

Then there’s the faint but persistent paranoia that everyone’s out to get me. At night I see the circle close tighter and tighter, squeezing out any sort of light to see with. Feeling around in the dark, these demons manifest in every breath and every sound.

Your clothes are dirt cheap. You write drug-induced stuff (hobo rants). You wear the same shit all the time, stop being so damned predictable.
I can’t hold the crazy in. I just can’t. I can’t pretend like everyone else and pretend to be alright. The melancholy of everyday life is just too overwhelming. Broken. Broken. Broken. Broken characters are imbalanced.

The ronery hit me hard again

delicious copypasta
“Hypothetically speaking,” say you have two choices for president:

The first one has one of the longest lines of political experience in history. He is exceedingly popular in congress. He was a soldier who volunteered to defend the United States in the Navy.

The second one has no real political experience outside Illinois. He is tall and lanky with big ears. He lost a few of his first attempts at gaining political office. However, he is an excellent speechwriter and orator, and he is a good attorney with a successful law practice.

So which one would you choose?

Actually, both were already presidents of the United States. The first one is the 15th President of the United States, James Buchannan. He is the President who mired us in the Civil War by declaring the action illegal but doing nothing when the south decided to seceed from the Union. He is largely considered by historians as being one of the worst presidents in American history.

He was followed by the other man, who became the 16th President of the United States: Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln is credited with the end of slavery, the end of the Civil War, and unification of the nation. He became president at a dark time when our country was deeply divided over very polarizing issues. He had no experience in Washington prior to his presidency. He is widely considered by historians as one of the best presidents in American History.

sayonara sarabande singing sweetly sound sleeping sophocles.
surrogate souls summon starbright, starfright.
sea salt, sea salt swearing seamen.
simple seeing sans solely simple.
simple singing spiritually simple.

… did i stutter?

I’ll forget. I know I’ll forget. It’s already begun to happen.

I forgot a song today; the registry faded, like ancient sun-bleached advertisements.
Neurons in cacophony, confusion onset.
Ocelet scarlet, but even too I’ll forget.
And this, tarlatan like a knapsack.
Job called, he wants his grief back.

Of course I’d forget. I’m weak. I’m human.
But what, when the notes and melodies; words like sophocles;
When the basic elements that make up a song, are so ingrained to my concept of you.
The bait, the love. The late. late. late. late.
The late you.
I cry over your epitaph. I cry over it a thousand times.
Of course it’s not enough. Of course such a weak and paltry cliche would never be enough.
Though you’re six, I can never eleven.
Nevar forget, nevar.

But I forgot.
I forgot these notes and melodies
words like sophocles.
I forgot it not once, not twice, but thrice over and more.

I forgot the songs that represent you.

Just like I’ll forget everything.
And forget that I even once knew.

Isn’t it sad?

they get you when you’re asleep
they rub salt in your wounds while you daze
they slice you up and cut you open
just so their tears can mingle with your blood

can’t sleep.. can’t sleep..
they carry machetes

A little girl called me “mister” today! Mister!!
GAHHHHH IM DYING FROM THE CUTE

(I cans be adult tiem nao?)

I do, yes I do; I will never go to stay.

Ick.
Chinese Astley makes my skin crawl.

idiot, liar. just stay on the other side of the world and die there.

I haven’t hung out with anyone since… the era picnic. This sucks. I thought things would be alright this summer if I stayed in the states. I guess life just sucks when you’re not in love. Yeah yeah, people in love get everything wrong but.. I’d rather be wrong than lonely.
IM SO RONERY GUYS
STOP LEAVING ME OUT AND MAKING ME FEEL RONERY

I went to Macau cafe today and.. I was the only customer in the shop. Eating alone in a busy restaurant sucks enough, but sitting in the center of a deserted restaurant with nothing to do but read web articles on my phone was.. Unsatisfactory.

– Why am I so bad at writing bluug posts now?