annunciate child, you speak like a peasant

I love songs that make me feel connected to the rest of the world. Sometimes I forget and it seems like I’ll be displaced from being here.
Being modern and aware of the current culture and technology differentials is important to me, but I also need to feel transcendent and timeless. I don’t know, it’s like I always want to know δy(x, t)/δt but I also want to remember the wave speed. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s hard to keep track of the big picture when you’re so focused on the next move and maybe the one after that. But I don’t want to get lost, greedy algorithms only work by luck. I guess I have to be honest with myself about what I want. Some people want to run empires, others want to make some cool toys. Still others just want some money and prestige and a rich personal life. I guess what I want is what I’ve always wanted, to make some good tools for people to use and to have some great experiences while doing this. But it bothers me, I’m worried, when I realize how hard it’s going to be to make the things I want to make when the science you need isn’t even there. And I don’t want to lock myself up in a lab to contribute any considerable amount of work because there’s still other things I want to do. Maybe my wants and my will don’t match up so I guess there’s conflict.

The question really is, what can you do in a lifetime?