You remember the one, well of course you wouldn’t. Those images I used to throw away our memories.

But now that I see it again it’s clear I can never forget. Which means I can never be forgiven.
Not that if it were up to you it’d be any different. I should know, I still keep a copy of {you} in here.
I know I know, it’s been so many years. I really should just junk it, but I’m a compulsive hoarder for these things.

Time might dull the wounds but it never erases scars, not even a faint bit.

You know the other day someone laughed at me with certainty. That certainly I would never find true love.
In my mind I laughed at him secretly. Jokes on him, I never believed in the truth of love.
{private cut}

It must be paranoia that I try to repress consciously, something that I feel but reason to be untrue.
That everyone I meet thinks I’m a fool, that my behavior, my body language will alert them to my inadequacies.
But I hold a similar disdain against the mass of strangers who guard themselves, who exercise caution in presenting themselves.
Any idiot can be right if he only waits and co-opts the answers of smarter men. But where in that is life? You might as well have not lived.

I want to laugh loudly, to care deeply about the moment at hand, to know and feel that I’m alive.
Even if I’m completely wrong, if my laughter is uncalled for, I want to live without apologizing for being alive.

But to live with such vitality is to throw caution to the wind. And my mortal spirit can still be pierced by the disdain of others.
Even if I have the courage to live with my ideals there is still danger of overconfidence or of burning myself out.
If I have to approach every social interaction with a wall of overconfidence it tires me out. And in my dreams where confidence is not a factor
Well I wake up with such anger and overflowing negativity. Feeling like I need to punch children kittens.

Paranoia is such a bitch. It’s delusions in a way but not the usual kind of grandeur or importance or self worth.
Paranoia, social phobia, is delusions of being a worm. Of being absolute garbage in the eyes of others.
The answer to paranoia, it’s easily dispelled by, a candid view of reality. Of being able to assess situations and accept reality for truth even if the truth is you’re being a fool.
Perception is a fickle lens, often colored by untrustworthy emotions. It’s easy to be paranoid of one’s perception, paranoid of perception of one’s own paranoia.

Confidence must be earned.
Perception must be candid.

Would that I have the strength to see what is, and what is not.

But people are built up by delusions. To be candid means to abandon the company of a stuffed animal even if it were your best friend.
In having an imaginary friend, delusional as it may be, is the feeling of friendship delusional, is the feeling of friendship worthless?
The feeling of magic is a kind of delusion, but then are all magicians mean-spirited, does all magic lead to paranoia?
As much as people fear witches, so much so that normal people have been hunted and burned, magic is not inherently evil.

I don’t have all the answers but that doesn’t mean I have no knowledge.
It’s good to be able to say I know that I know nothing.
It’s better to be able to say I know that I know some things.

I know that as a human I should seek happiness.
I know that I’m prone to paranoia and that it will fuck me up.

So in seeking happiness I’d like to throw my paranoia away.
I guess it’s my burden to figure out how best to go about doing so.
Other men’s crosses are not mine to bear. To turn this around my own cross is only mine to bear.
If the burdens I bear is made of things like paranoia then in a sense my cross is myself.
It just seems daunting to be both bearer and cross.

I accept small steps, and belief in myself.
To be positive like my mother, and to care deeply like my father.
I believe I have the capability within me.

I’ve made my resolutions and my tough choices.
I’ve let go of my paranoia, my delusions, my childishness.

I’m coming for you.
And this time I’m not fucking around.

There can be no fair games

The best strategy is to trick your enemy into defeat without
telling them the rules, before they even know what’s going on

Do you still want to play with me? Too bad because I won’t play with you!
Play those games with someone else, someone interested in sinking their teeth.
Nyahahahah

I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry dad. Somehow your son grew up to be a terrible person.

DISCOMFORT

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2381#comic

sun(7/3)
Wayne Hong
Insanity and paranoia are like the moons of mars. Insanity is paranoia of the self.
Friday at 10:01pm · · Like ·
Wayne Hong and-is, mars = self, a reflection_duality
Friday at 10:02pm · Like
Wayne Hong I can see the multi-threading
Friday at 10:04pm · Like

Bijan Bryan Eghtesady You’re talking to yourself again, Wayne.
Friday at 10:09pm · Like · 1 person
Wayne Hong ruh roh
Friday at 10:12pm · Like · 1 person
Wayne Hong I can see the ending!
Saturday at 1:00am · Like

Bijan Bryan Eghtesady http://i.imgur.com/7lbZR.jpg ?
Saturday at 1:49am · Unlike · 1 person
Wayne Hong such a brilliant idea use the human and the machine to do what neither could do alone.
mech turk + translation/image id/categorization/OH SHI AI
emergent property combine machine culture and human speciation, hybrid human-machine mind
to achieve capabilities in intelligence, thought, sentience
TRANSCENDENT MAN
Saturday at 2:41am · Like
Wayne Hong let’s bridge those gaps baby, I am ready for an android/extraterrestrial lover
Saturday at 2:45am · Like
Wayne Hong oh btw professional software making? here’s the only sensible way to do it. you have customers who have problems that want you to solve their problems using magic (software). they will begin by saying they want all the features. halfway thr…
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Saturday at 3:04am · Like
Wayne Hong another idea – combine the warrior and the engineer to create a most threatening blade, to be sharper than either one alone
bioelectronics + mobile armor combat
synthesis combination hybrid ARCHIMEDES + ACHILLES
ARCHIMEDES with the CIRCLES UNDISTURBED and ACHILLES with the HEEL IMMACULATED
Saturday at 3:23am · Like · 1 person
Wayne Hong story sharing is the basic unit of communication. we’re all foreigners to each other, we all need to hear each other talk a lot before we can learn the protocol.
Saturday at 3:29am · Like

Evan Friscia Can we go back in time so we can have an in shape Arnold Schwarzenegger play the enginering warrior? I can picture it now, he stands over his defeated enemy, raises his blade and utters the line ” I’ll calcu LATER!!!”.
Saturday at 4:47am · Like
Wayne Hong evan do you know pleasurable it is to try to rap along with eminem? when you hit the words right it feels like you’re the real slim shady. dude. RAP HERO
Saturday at 5:26am · Like
Wayne Hong object oriented programming: a good model (class) of a real world object (noun: person, place, or thing) is described by state and behavior that would completely replicate the difference between two objects of the same type (subtype, polymo…
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Saturday at 6:11am · Like
Wayne Hong oh god how did this get here i am not good with computer

http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/1337/highasakite.jpg

Saturday at 6:15am · Like

Bijan Bryan Eghtesady http://i.imgur.com/mog0q.gif
Saturday at 12:29pm · Like

Evan Friscia Huh? What? Rap?
Saturday at 1:29pm · Like
Wayne Hong Wayne –ramble –verbose > /dev/null
Saturday at 1:45pm · Like

Evan Friscia Oh. How’s Seattle?
Saturday at 1:46pm · Like
Wayne Hong I like it. I’ve been making friends with the hobos around UDub.
Saturday at 1:47pm · Like

Evan Friscia Cool stuff, sounds like an interesting experience.
Saturday at 2:53pm · Like
Wayne Hong Somehow Star Trek TNG continues to blow me away. S1E9 – The Battle is definitely homage to Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice. The ferengi are known for being profit driven and a ferengi captain plays the role of Shylock seeking revenge. It’s an amazing use of Patrick Stewart in his natural shakespearian element. The episode ends with a perfect one liner from Picard: “There is never profit in revenge.” > /dev/null
2 hours ago · Like

idea: residence update manager – manages your home address and mailing address in one location so you can update your residence in all the locations online in one step when you move

idea: distributed public contact data – users create a set of contact information available from google for example. when you update your contact card with the users email, phone number, address, etc. all of his or her public contact information (settings that they control) get updated to your private address book. by doing so we ensure that everyone has the option to give out as much contact information as they want and also help people who are trying to contact them do so in the way the user specifies. by using this kind of contact distribution system people downstream the contact information also get automatically updated with the latest contact information if they are authorized. OH SNAP FACEBOOK CAN DO THIS ALREADY IF THEY JUST BUILD ADDRESS BOOKS FOR EVERYONE.

idea: torrent upload site (torrentship). upload your file(s) to a website like megaupload/rapidshare and the server generates a torrent file sharing your uploaded files. you get a link to share the torrent file with other people but the server is the central seed for sharing the files.

idea: use http://www.ifitweremyhome.com/ to come up with knowledge that can guide government action. for example do we increase healthcare of decrease healthcare? compare country relations and map favorable/unfavorable comparisons with relation to difference in healthcare spending (the less healthcare a citizen spends, the more healthcare the government spends). look at a value like salary earnings and you get an indication of how government healthcare spending can affect the economy.

Wayne: woahhhhhhhhhh
Wayne: i like understand so much
Wayne: the reason im more of a programmer than a scientist
Wayne: is because ive exercised a different muscle in my brain
Wayne: its like the thinking version of short spasm muscle and long spasm muscle
Wayne: as a programmer im capable of analyzing a situation and coming up with a model when i have all the information
Wayne: as in i can debug software when ive written it and can step through the logic in my mind
Wayne: as a scientist you need to be able to fill in more gaps that just don’t get told to you… but you don’t have to do it so quickly and you don’t have to be completely right.
Wayne: both tasks requiring lots of thought and creativity
Wayne: both obviously require technical skill
Wayne: and as a programmer you’re constantly building something new with your creativity
Wayne: but as a scientist you have to turn your creativity inwards and fill in gaps in your model
Wayne: dude
Wayne: its so awesome
Wayne: to be in engineering
Wayne: in cs and ee
Wayne: fsck yeah

i was playing pachabel canon in d on my guitar, i thought i’d tell you cuz you’d enjoy that

in chess maybe we cant populate an extensive gamestate tree but maybe we can populate an extensive build/strategy tree. in chess the interesting idea is that for each game state there is a countable number of moves until a particular position is achieved

I understand the nature of moriarty of elementary, dear data the star trek tng episode. The computer was asked to create an opponent that could challenge data. Data being stronger than sherlock holmes due to prior knowledge would be too overpowering for moriarty alone so the created moriarty has all the knowledge of all the sherlock holmes works just like data. The computer moriarty is a procedure and the part of data that is solving the holmes case is also a procedure. With both procedures having complete knowledge of the holmes corpus, data and moriarty are on equal footing and it is purified into procedure verses procedure. This is a positive feedback loop in the hofstadterian fashion. This kind of competition creates the emergent property of thought and sentience. Humans attained sentience through feedback loop competitions with prey and with each other. The rise of the social struggle is the catalyst of evolution for the human mind. Think of it like the metagame of Starcraft 2. Players get better over time and they get better because they constantly challenge other players to be better. Computers challenging each other in a feedback loop could create the necessary conditions to reach sentience and true understanding.
idea for fiction: in an attempt to create artificial intelligence, scientists hook up two highly powerful synthetic intelligences and make them compete against each other to drive them up to sentience. one was the 1001net created for storing human knowledge in indexing, the other was the mech-10 that controls the automated infrastructure humans built. no one believed it would work, but they were more successful than they hoped. one became evil and one became good. what follows is a jacob and esau archetype struggle. one fights to preserve humanity and the other fights to extinguish it. gotta throw in lots of cool cs ideas and references combined with psychology, neuroscience, etc. all this bioengineering knowledge gets put into a cool biocyber-punk setting. furthering the duality between physical scaffolding and conciousness, between biology and computer, between man and machine. super cool story bro.

it’s so strange. white people love to insult and love to take insults. asians are all about honor and dignity, insults obviously become super serious matter. asians who are cool with white people are ones who aren’t super serious and white people who are cool with asians are the ones who understand respect and tact.

mon (7/4)
is there any way to look at pricing data from several vendors over a few weeks or months and analyze that data to describe selling behavior?fucking one password for everything isn’t it nash equilibrium? isn’t it game theory? you could look at prices for the same item from several different online vendors and you could collect massive amounts of similar data on tons of same item sales. use a computer to find patterns between different pricing functions that appear the same between different items. implications to research, to business strategy, oh my god everything is actually a game. all competition is game and all games have strats.

I have this urge to try to understand everything from every point of view. I have this urge to travel, to explore, to grasp everything within my reach and just touch it. I think I have this curious desire to explore every nook and cranny because I want to make sure what I see is real. Like I am testing reality, is the sand in that photograph of the hawaiin beach really as soft as it looks? Does the snow on that picture of a mountain top really feel and smell as cold as it looks? I have this desire because I want to be like God. Man might see something from one perspective. God knows that same thing in all perspectives. The more I understand the more powerful I become. And this is why I’ll end up designing weapons systems with my engineering knowledge.

parenting is feedback loops! don’t you friggen skimp on your feedback loops or you will be incomplete

that magical sense of creation is what I’m really after. the sense is of daedalus, the master artificer. all engineers should strive to be like daedalus. to make these wings and let others fly in them that is what it means to be an engineer. i want to fly higher and higher and i want to use more advanced science and technology. i want to be a maker like daedalus for in the act of creation we are closer to god.
-the sense is of daedalus the master artificer, the maker
-the act of making, of creating, brings us closer to god

why doesn’t google do the obvious move? everyone would agree that making webapps more like desktop apps would make google happy. one of the biggest barriers to this end is the feeling of limitation you get when a webapp can’t process right clicks. what’s stopping the webapp from receiving a right click signal is solely the browser. the browser recieves right click signals just fine, which means it could pass these inputs onto the webpage. webpages could then define a clicklistener on right clicks. what used to be in the way was the disconnect between web developers and browser makers. now that google is both a web developer and a browser maker in huge ways it has the unique position to break down another barrier between webapps and desktop apps.

new feature: datestamp!

7/17/2011
who the fuck is Aaron Abrams?
Aaron Abram
so, did bezoz invite you over for a Sunday BBQ today?

46 minutes agoWayne Hong
eh ive never heard of that
but if theres really a bbq going on thats too bad
its raining in seattle

20 minutes agoAaron Abram
thats Seattle, what are your studies at UCLA focused on?…database or UI design?

19 minutes agoWayne Hong
algorithms, data structures, OS stuff, networks
not really that much database or UI stuff

18 minutes agoAaron Abram
algorithms seem fun, my startup is having a challenging time finding UI designers from UCLA, do you know of any?

18 minutes agoWayne Hong
hmm maybe UCLA is not the best place to look for UI designers
the CS program is highly theoretical, not really that hands on
most people dont know how to css lol

17 minutes agoAaron Abram
i’ve noticed that, where would you go about finding that person in LA?
i have all these database guys looking to work with us end of summer from UCLA but I really need a front end guy

16 minutes agoWayne Hong
i see…
i know there are schools specifically for designers, artists, game designers
maybe there are people who study specifically UI design
i mean UI is really that important
look at the success of apple
completely based on the quality of their UI

15 minutes agoAaron Abram
your right
we have a very cool application that will be mainly for college students and thats the one thing thats slowing us down. my team members from USC don’t know CSS
it’s almost comical that any good CS program doesn’t have that focus because you can’t really design a full app without it

12 minutes agoWayne Hong
hahah so true
cs programs dont focus on teaching their students how to write programs from start to finish

12 minutes agoAaron Abram
I guess perhaps that why there are no big startups coming from UCLA or USC

12 minutes agoWayne Hong
they just focus on the specific topic of the week
yeah i guess most graduates join already established companies
but then you also dont get to make real decisions or do anything interesting

11 minutes agoAaron Abram
the problem with that is most graduate will never create anything. they will only work on small peices of big projects ….plus they will never become rich working for Google, Amazon or Facebook…they have too many employees…all past 1,000
they say you have to be of the first 100 employees to make big bucks

10 minutes agoWayne Hong
interesting
its really hard to turn a startup into a huge success though

9 minutes agoAaron Abram
ur right…
most internet companies are created by immature people that cannot execute
there are lots of reasons I suppose
what are u looking to do when u graduate ?

7 minutes agoWayne Hong
grad school and research probably

7 minutes agoAaron Abram
why?

7 minutes agoWayne Hong
theres a lot of freedom you get as a professor
freedom to work on your ideas and funding to back up your research

6 minutes agoAaron Abram
I hear you, but what happens if you discover something incredible, who owns the intellectual property?

5 minutes agoWayne Hong
i mean the school probably does
i would be really happy just to discover that something incredible though

4 minutes agoAaron Abram
I hear you, its important to do something you are passionate about, then why work with Amazon?

3 minutes agoWayne Hong
i wanted to get some experience in industry, check out what the business was about
see how people work in the corporate environment
plus i needed money lol

about a minute agoAaron Abram
smart

7/19/2011
woah man like my father’s fathers tried to become scholar-officials because that was the best most prominent role in society. my father, misguided by old information, instead tried to become a clergyman, a prominent role in the western past. he then came to understand that his inherent skills were at odds with being a pastor (of course, the scholar is the learner not the teacher). he also saw that indeed the clergy is not of modern prominence. he then realized his place was in academia and fell back upon his role as the scholar-scientist. my genetic line is feeling its way to the top, and don’t you worry we’ll get there. it’s why i hold off so long from committing to a role, to a path. there must be something higher to attain. the first seeds are already beginning to sprout.

more things I say on facebook…. maybe I should name this series things I say on facebook
Wayne Hong
wait.. isn’t the capabilities of js suitable enough for the creation of a self contained shell environment completely simulating the desktop environment? isn’t that google’s main objective for the success of google’s chromebook? we were talking about how right click is bad ux for webapps because it’s not the expected behavior. well on…
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28 minutes ago · Like · · See Friendship
Wayne Hong basically what I’m saying is the revolution is when you can build an OS out of javascript
28 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong I guess the problem then is losing the advantages you gain from not actually implementing a file system and all the other os troubles. you lose the speed because this os still has to be loaded. you lose the ease of maintenance because a real os with all its troubles is way harder to care for than a browser. you lose the cost advantage because it is way harder to develop and again maintain a real os.
23 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong however it appears that if everything a real os is capable of is replicated on the internet by third party developers, open source and hobbiests, it seems that google retains both advantages by exploiting the free or at least much cheaper w…
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18 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong but google is playing a dangerous gambit. if these module OS pieces don’t fall into place, then google is left with useless novelty products that admittedly brilliant, was too advanced for its time. this is.. a bold move.
16 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong by the way nowJS could be considered a huge piece in this story. it’s an extension of JS that makes its powerful abilities(node.js) accessible to more users. you can see how explosive this effect is in the easy to develop open source ecosystem of freedom. the android phone sprinted to the market lead using this advantage.
14 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong we are entering the era of the true cyberspace. this is the cyberspace cyberpunks have dreamt about in many a novel. this is the ghost in the shell, an invisible silent interconnection between our terminals and the central hub cloudship 1. …
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9 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong infinite business caused the cloud caused the cypher caused the computation caused the communism
8 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong i am so sure this is the next step… i bet with google.
7 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong sorry for the acid rant. i guess all these 3d pictures have made me realize that more and more we can capture everything of a moment. when we have all the data, what’s the difference between a simulated world and the genuine article. oh god the matrix except 20 years later. someone must fly the banner of neo.
5 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong oh god how did this get here i am not good with compute
2 minutes ago · Like

Wayne Hong infinite business caused the cloud caused the ghost in the shell caused the computational comunism
about an hour ago · Like
Wayne Hong need to… see… further…. even…. furtherrrrrr. it’s daedalus peering through a telescope of galileo’s design on the shoulders of giants.
about an hour ago · Like
Wayne Hong take an area of competition google is engaged in. say media delivery on mobile devices (big picture: instant sensory imitation and stimulation anywhere you are without delay). we don’t even need to mention the youtube. lets specifically loo…
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54 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong ERIC I AM JOHN TITOR
53 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong when you go back to school learn your computer science focusing on inventing a method for every task a personal computer can perform today that lives in the clouds. the further the ripple reaches in capability (and therefore society), the f…
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30 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong internet pay per service is kicking off in a big way. there’s amazon prime, netflix, hulu+, spotify. the lines between internet service and utilities is disappearing. how different is a monthly payment for amazon prime to a monthly payment for sprint data to a monthly payment for cable access to a monthly payment for water and electricity? markets and payment pipelines be shifting yo.
26 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong I’m sorry for making your inbox explode like this with 20 status updates. I probably sound like a lunatic homeless man right now. But the dreamers are always right. The dreamers and artists are right before the time of their ideas. I mean l…
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21 minutes ago · Like
Wayne Hong It’s more synthesis of two studies. Economics can learn much from the ideas present in biology. Humans are the individual cells surrounding the arterial flow of lifelines like money, power, technology, religion, ethics, and other signals ex…
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9 minutes ago · Like

OH SNAP JIA JI IS JUDAS. POSITIONAL SUPERKO THOUGHT WHAT SHE’D DO WAS PRETEND TO BE ONE OF THOSE DEAFMUTES. HAWAII IS OUR HOUSE OF LEAVES!

» Chain World Videogame Was Supposed to be a Religion—Not a Holy War
www.wired.com
Jason Rohrer is known as much for his eccentric lifestyle as for the brilliant, unusual games he designs. He lives mostly off the grid in the desert town
about a minute ago · Privacy: · Like · · Share
Wayne Hong and of course a_Rohrer is the architect. This will be the sixth the we have created a thread about it and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.
25 seconds ago · Like

I lost it. I lost the feeling, the one that let me be who I am without giving two shits about what other people think. Time to be the best psychopath I can possibly be.

is annoyed that to listen to google music he has to have an extra tab cluttering his tab bar. chrome needs a push tab to the background. or better yet, a push to systems tray feature. you could have a virtual system tray in the top right of your window further messing with people’s brains. what is a webapp, what is a desktop app idk lol chrome os?

the best architects are more often than not great observers. never underestimate the power of obs

I don’t know if I should be embarrassed or proud, but I just fapped for an hour and thirty minutes. Oh god where the fuck am I.

Who are these random fucking middle eastern guys commenting on all my interesting fb posts. They are ruining the pool.

just realized kingdom hearts is epic in scope. and character design. i wonder what would happen if i took my fashion cues from kingdom hearts.

will I finish my calculations before time is called for pencils down?
why am I so morbid? why am I so fascinated with the temporal nature of being?
do I really fear death this much? perhaps it’s because I expect to be in hell…
man I need to fix these fixations